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Agatha's application (needs approval)

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Agatha's application (needs approval)

Post by Agatha on Sat Jan 14, 2017 3:54 am

Personality and the Basics


Name: Agatha Pounce Aldith
Gender: Female
Type: Amphiptere
Species: Unknown
Age: 10 years
Date of Birth: 9 of agust
Personality:  she is a big cry baby, too emotive. Even living lonely, she wants friends, and she will try hard to keep them, Agatha is not the type of dragon that give up easily in this case, she is not shy, definitively the instead. One thing bad in this dragoness, is the fact that she is way too fearful, especially for the unknown creatures, that's because she is too perceptive. When she notice that you are a friendly, she will probably starts to make jokes, if you are rude to her, she will try to be patient, after all, she don't care about what the others think about her, she can be stubborn, hardly her opinion will change.
Hobbies: Hunt, catch butterflies and swim.
Likes: Fish, birds, meet anothers Dragons, conversations, play.
Dislikes: Insects, sharp-toungued dragons, fights, fire.
Fears: insects, dragons that can kill her without hesitation, enemies, big creatures, dark caves, fire, living beings that she don't know and she have a fear to enter in a fight.
Origin, Culture, and Family


Place of Origin: Layrian
Tribe: Rogue
Position: N/A
Language: Universal, but some words she pronunce wrong.
Home: In Layrian, in a tiny destroyed house, with a big hole, but the house can shelter someone from the rain, near of a lake.
Parents: Mother was called ''Ethedreda'', father was called ''Phoenix'', they wanted to be good parents even stealing things from others, they are dead now.
Siblings: None.
Relatives: Hers parents are the only dragons that she know.
Mate: None.
Offspring: None.
History: When she was a hatchling, her mother and father was protecting her by two dragons who wanted to take it back something that Agatha's family stole, they killed Agatha's father Phoenix, Ethedreda, the mother survived, but she was permanently wounded (she became blind in one eye), so she taught Agatha the universal languague, but she couldn't taught her to fly, because hers wings served like flippers, her father it was a bad formation in the wings. Then, Ethedreda also taught her others things but Agatha learned how to hunt in the water by herself, some years later, Ethedreda died by a terminal disease, and now, Agatha is lonely.


Physical Appearance and Accessories


Height: 20 inches
Length: 10 inches
Wingspan: 20 inches
Scale/Fur/Feathers: she has some colored feathers in her hole body, the colors are: dark blue in the most part of hers feathers, greenish blue in the tail tips. In her tail, two feathers are more large and sharped, remembering a tail of a wale, in her belly, she have a big light blue marking, in the head, some big feathers remembering a cockatiel.
Eyes: Agatha has dark green eyes.
Accessories: One necklace with a pendant in format of a heart.
Armor: none.
Horns/Spikes: none
Overall Appearance: Agatha is a tiny, skinny dragon, with sharp yellowish teeths,  her wings looks like flippers, because of that, she ''walk'' like a seal.

Abilities and Strengths


Abilities: Poison by her bite: this attack can paralise big creatures, and kill small creatures, no one taught her this ability, she just born with the poison in hers teeths, the symptoms are: joint pain if the animal will die, and the area that she bited will infect, if the animal will be paralised, the body will stop to move slowly, it takes 10 minutes to the creature paralise completely, and the creature will be paralised for 2 hours.
camouflage: this ability allow Agatha to became invisible for some creatures, it works like the camouflage of the chameleon, she born with this ability.
Strengths: Agatha is speedy in the water, with a big agility, she can kill small creatures (fishes, crabs etc) without so much difficulties than some animals in the lake that she lives, and she can escape from big creatures too.
Weaknesses: She can be easily killed because she is slow and clumsy out of water.
she always feel bad for the death of her mother so, if someone scold her mother, she will cry.
Fighting Style: Agatha don't fight, she just try to escape when she is out of the water or she will use the camouflage, and wait to the creature get out, in the water, Agatha will try to bite the enemy, and she will try to dodge from their attacks.
Magic: The only magic that she know is the healing breath, but this magic can only be used to cure minor wounds, in serious injuries, the magic will have a minor effect, changing almost anything, this breath have a grayish-white color and she learned from her mother, but she didn't developed too much, if she developed, the magic would cure more serious injuries, the healing breath requires too much energy, making Agatha tired eventually, if Agatha use this in you, you will have a sensation of a cold breeze in the place of your body that she used.


Last edited by Agatha on Thu Jan 19, 2017 2:20 am; edited 7 times in total

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Re: Agatha's application (needs approval)

Post by Oculus on Sun Jan 15, 2017 6:48 am

Personality:
This needs to be fice sentences long

Height:
Um, your sizes are reaaaaally small. You want to be this small at age ten?

Abilities:
Can you please specify and give details about the poison and camouflage?

Strengths:
Please explain how you can easily kill creates by being fast only, as being fast doesn't mean things are easy to kill

Magic:
Can you explain this ability of healing breath? How it heals, what it does/comes from (actually a breath or something else?)
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Re: Agatha's application (needs approval)

Post by Agatha on Sun Jan 15, 2017 7:14 am

@Oculus wrote:Personality:
This needs to be fice sentences long

Height:
Um, your sizes are reaaaaally small.  You want to be this small at age ten?

Abilities:
Can you please specify and give details about the poison and camouflage?

Strengths:
Please explain how you can easily kill creates by being fast only, as being fast doesn't mean things are easy to kill

Magic:
Can you explain this ability of healing breath?  How it heals, what it does/comes from (actually a breath or something else?)

Yeah, i really want a small dragon, the remaining i will change.

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Re: Agatha's application (needs approval)

Post by Sonus Decessus on Sun Jan 15, 2017 12:30 pm

@Agatha wrote:
@Oculus wrote:Personality:
This needs to be fice sentences long

Height:
Um, your sizes are reaaaaally small.  You want to be this small at age ten?

Abilities:
Can you please specify and give details about the poison and camouflage?

Strengths:
Please explain how you can easily kill creates by being fast only, as being fast doesn't mean things are easy to kill

Magic:
Can you explain this ability of healing breath?  How it heals, what it does/comes from (actually a breath or something else?)

Yeah, i really want a small dragon, the remaining i will change.

Even though you will remain that small, you still need to answer and explain, if you will, the other things Oculus has pointed out. Thank you

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Re: Agatha's application (needs approval)

Post by Agatha on Mon Jan 16, 2017 3:11 am

@Sonus Decessus wrote:
@Agatha wrote:
@Oculus wrote:Personality:
This needs to be fice sentences long

Height:
Um, your sizes are reaaaaally small.  You want to be this small at age ten?

Abilities:
Can you please specify and give details about the poison and camouflage?

Strengths:
Please explain how you can easily kill creates by being fast only, as being fast doesn't mean things are easy to kill

Magic:
Can you explain this ability of healing breath?  How it heals, what it does/comes from (actually a breath or something else?)

Yeah, i really want a small dragon, the remaining i will change.

Even though you will remain that small, you still need to answer and explain, if you will, the other things Oculus has pointed out. Thank you

Can you give me tips?

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Re: Agatha's application (needs approval)

Post by Agatha on Tue Jan 17, 2017 9:14 am

Bump

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Re: Agatha's application (needs approval)

Post by Oculus on Wed Jan 18, 2017 2:42 am

Hi agatha. For,your personality section, you need to make it five sentences long. You have one long run on sentence, some suggest breaking it up into smaller sentences.

Poison: since you are so small, what is considered small to you, and what is considered large to you? I suggest giving examples of heights for each.

Camouflage is just like a chameleon? If so, it works well while holding still, but while moving, it wouldn't be very good, right?



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Re: Agatha's application (needs approval)

Post by Agatha on Wed Jan 18, 2017 9:38 am

@Oculus wrote:Hi agatha.  For,your personality section, you need to make it five sentences long.  You have one long run on sentence, some suggest breaking it up into smaller sentences.

Poison:  since you are so small, what is considered small to you, and what is considered large to you?  I suggest giving examples of heights for each.

Camouflage is just like a chameleon?  If so, it works well while holding still, but while moving, it wouldn't be very good, right?




Yup, you're right about the camouflage.

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Re: Agatha's application (needs approval)

Post by Sonus Decessus on Wed Jan 18, 2017 11:18 am

@Agatha wrote:
Personality and the Basics


Name: Agatha Pounce Aldith
Gender: Female
Type: Amphiptere
Species: Unknown
Age: 10 years
Date of Birth: 9 of agust August
Personality:  she is a emotive dragon, and she sometimes, is the first to notice things that the others don't noticed, she acts calm, and corteous, she is way too protective to who she likes, and fearful of anything, Agatha is vingative, pessimistic, sarcastic, and lazy, she sleeps too much, but trustworthy, comunicative, and she is playful, sometimes realistic, and direct when she says the truth, even being lazy, she work hard if necessary.
So your commas are your periods? Please correct this

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Re: Agatha's application (needs approval)

Post by Agatha on Wed Jan 18, 2017 10:29 pm

@Sonus Decessus wrote:
@Agatha wrote:
Personality and the Basics


Name: Agatha Pounce Aldith
Gender: Female
Type: Amphiptere
Species: Unknown
Age: 10 years
Date of Birth: 9 of agust August
Personality:  she is a emotive dragon, and she sometimes, is the first to notice things that the others don't noticed, she acts calm, and corteous, she is way too protective to who she likes, and fearful of anything, Agatha is vingative, pessimistic, sarcastic, and lazy, she sleeps too much, but trustworthy, comunicative, and she is playful, sometimes realistic, and direct when she says the truth, even being lazy, she work hard if necessary.
So your commas are your periods? Please correct this
I'm still changing this.

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Re: Agatha's application (needs approval)

Post by Sonus Decessus on Sun Jan 22, 2017 5:28 am

Okay. Bump when you're done.

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Re: Agatha's application (needs approval)

Post by Agatha on Sun Jan 22, 2017 6:35 am

@Sonus Decessus wrote:Okay. Bump when you're done.

Bump?

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Re: Agatha's application (needs approval)

Post by Sonus Decessus on Sun Jan 22, 2017 7:40 am

You post
"bump"
And that lets us moderators know if you're done editing

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Re: Agatha's application (needs approval)

Post by Agatha on Mon Jan 23, 2017 7:40 am


Bump

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Re: Agatha's application (needs approval)

Post by Sonus Decessus on Mon Jan 23, 2017 10:28 am

Ahhh. Agatha you can fit one more sentence into your personality! You can do it!

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Re: Agatha's application (needs approval)

Post by Agatha on Mon Jan 23, 2017 9:30 pm

@Sonus Decessus wrote:Ahhh. Agatha you can fit one more sentence into your personality! You can do it!

WHAT THE HECK ARE YOU SAYING?! I already edited this a freaking million times! Look at it:

Personality and the Basics


Name: Luda
Gender: Female
Type: Drake
Species: Snowflake Turquoise Drake
Age: 396
Date of Birth: February 12th
Personality: Luda is a lively, curious, and adventurous young being. She is sweet, gentle, caring, and fun, but she can also be mischievous and feisty. She is extremely determined, protective of the ones she loves, and ready for anything. She is energetic, bursting with enthusiasm to make new friends and go on adventures. Although she is filled with life, Luda can be calm, collected, and thoughtful and is an old soul, although this side of her is not often seen.


This post have LESS SENTENCES THAN ME, and it's accepted!

Armatricus appears to be the typical introvert at first glance, for he doesn't really talk much despite hanging around large crowds; instead of distancing himself from them, like most introverts, he can be seen in places with many dragons present, though often at a distance, almost blending in with the surroundings. Once approached, though, he isn't afraid to talk, and will warm up to the other dragon, starting a conversation almost immediately. While he does have his awkward moments due to four hundred years of not interacting, he's an okay conversation partner, though the other, if they pay enough attention, will find that he's a bit hesitant in his words, and is often flinching slightly at certain uttered words.

Spend time around him and he'll open up even more, and the dragon who had tried to make friends with him will find a seemingly joyful, excitable dragon (though a bit sarcastic sometimes), sometimes behaving like a child despite his age. This is, however, a mask he wears, one that he takes off only when he thinks he's alone. Underneath he's actually rather silent, like he was when he lived with his guardians. His silence is not because of shyness; it's more of the cold, cruel type where he stays silent to keep his mind focused on the other dragon. Armatricus often finds himself studying the other dragon, looking for chinks in their armour, areas where he can strike and inflict most damage. He's ashamed of this habit - or rather, personality trait - and tries as hard to be possible to rid himself of it, but it's not easy. The mask he wears - joyful, pure - is actually what he wishes to be, and by wearing his mask often, he hopes that he will become the joyful dragon everyone sees. It's probably impossible, but he hopes for it anyway. His practicality is probably one of the only personality traits from last time that he allows to show.

Armatricus's shameful (at least to him) history has left behind its marks, and they are his personality, fighting skills and sharpened senses. His personality is what bothers him most, because as much as he tries to be the happy dragon everyone sees him as, his less-positive traits - bloodlust, observance (where he doesn't look for the good things, but rather the negative, shameful ones, and weaknesses) are still there, and certain words can push him back into the dark pit called his former self. No, he doesn't have PTSD, but once pushed too far, as much as he doesn't want to, he'll slip into killing mode where he becomes the predator he once was. He doesn't feel regret, guilt or any emotions in that state except for excitement at seeing one's horror/pain and bloodlust, and all bonds with other dragons are severed. He will only do what he thinks will benefit him, and while he can easily snap himself back to normal, it will be much harder if he spots combat-related things, like wounds/blood and weapons. Especially weapons, because he will be so fixated on it that he'll be distracted from going back to normal.

That is what he is most ashamed of, and while he doesn't mind a simple conversation, he doesn't allow others to become too close to him, for fear that he would harm them in some way. This describes his name well, which means "A scarred weapon with a dark past". Armatricus also hides a deep insecurity; he is really, really concerned of what others think of him, and often he replays the past few minutes in his brain, thinking about how he could've said something better. He assumes that everyone sees him as childish, and really wants to ask them about how they think of him, but he's always too cowardly to do so. Two things he lacks are courage (present in battle) and self-confidence. He's always degrading himself, saying that "he can't do this because he's too stupid for that" and blaming himself for mistakes that weren't his fault.

He does have his good personality traits though, such as loyalty and compassion. While his previous self wouldn't spare an injured animal even a bit of its attention, Armatricus would approach the animal and attempt to help it. Cruelty he'll step in to stop, while his former self would've laughed and joined in on the cruelty. His loyalty would be valued; he never betrays anyone unless their actions are against his conscience, which he is proud to say has developed over his time spent living without his guardians. He also has an inquisitive, restless nature, leading him to explore other places or carry out useless activities just to let his energy out. If he wishes to, he can also be serious, and can put his analytical nature to good use. He doesn't often do this, though, as it reminds him of his previous personality traits, which is something he's trying to forget. More personality traits of his mask will be revealed through RP.

This post have more sentences than my post, and it's accepted, now, my post:

she is a big cry baby, too emotive. Even living lonely, she wants friends, and she will try hard to keep them, Agatha is not the type of dragon that give up easily in this case, she is not shy, definitively the instead. One thing bad in this dragoness, is the fact that she is way too fearful, especially for the unknown creatures, that's because she is too perceptive. When she notice that you are a friendly, she will probably starts to make jokes, if you are rude to her, she will try to be patient, after all, she don't care about what the others think about her, she can be stubborn, hardly her opinion will change.

I already wrote 7 sentences, what are you requiring of me? My kidney? If this is a joke this is not funny!


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Re: Agatha's application (needs approval)

Post by Sonus Decessus on Mon Jan 23, 2017 10:25 pm

@Agatha wrote:
@Sonus Decessus wrote:Ahhh. Agatha you can fit one more sentence into your personality! You can do it!

WHAT THE HECK ARE YOU SAYING?! I already edited this a freaking million times! Look at it:

Personality and the Basics


Name: Luda
Gender: Female
Type: Drake
Species: Snowflake Turquoise Drake
Age: 396
Date of Birth: February 12th
Personality: Luda is a lively, curious, and adventurous young being. She is sweet, gentle, caring, and fun, but she can also be mischievous and feisty. She is extremely determined, protective of the ones she loves, and ready for anything. She is energetic, bursting with enthusiasm to make new friends and go on adventures. Although she is filled with life, Luda can be calm, collected, and thoughtful and is an old soul, although this side of her is not often seen.

She has five sentences


This post have LESS SENTENCES THAN ME, and it's accepted!

Armatricus appears to be the typical introvert at first glance, for he doesn't really talk much despite hanging around large crowds; instead of distancing himself from them, like most introverts, he can be seen in places with many dragons present, though often at a distance, almost blending in with the surroundings. Once approached, though, he isn't afraid to talk, and will warm up to the other dragon, starting a conversation almost immediately. While he does have his awkward moments due to four hundred years of not interacting, he's an okay conversation partner, though the other, if they pay enough attention, will find that he's a bit hesitant in his words, and is often flinching slightly at certain uttered words.

Spend time around him and he'll open up even more, and the dragon who had tried to make friends with him will find a seemingly joyful, excitable dragon (though a bit sarcastic sometimes), sometimes behaving like a child despite his age. This is, however, a mask he wears, one that he takes off only when he thinks he's alone. Underneath he's actually rather silent, like he was when he lived with his guardians. His silence is not because of shyness; it's more of the cold, cruel type where he stays silent to keep his mind focused on the other dragon. Armatricus often finds himself studying the other dragon, looking for chinks in their armour, areas where he can strike and inflict most damage. He's ashamed of this habit - or rather, personality trait - and tries as hard to be possible to rid himself of it, but it's not easy. The mask he wears - joyful, pure - is actually what he wishes to be, and by wearing his mask often, he hopes that he will become the joyful dragon everyone sees. It's probably impossible, but he hopes for it anyway. His practicality is probably one of the only personality traits from last time that he allows to show.

Armatricus's shameful (at least to him) history has left behind its marks, and they are his personality, fighting skills and sharpened senses. His personality is what bothers him most, because as much as he tries to be the happy dragon everyone sees him as, his less-positive traits - bloodlust, observance (where he doesn't look for the good things, but rather the negative, shameful ones, and weaknesses) are still there, and certain words can push him back into the dark pit called his former self. No, he doesn't have PTSD, but once pushed too far, as much as he doesn't want to, he'll slip into killing mode where he becomes the predator he once was. He doesn't feel regret, guilt or any emotions in that state except for excitement at seeing one's horror/pain and bloodlust, and all bonds with other dragons are severed. He will only do what he thinks will benefit him, and while he can easily snap himself back to normal, it will be much harder if he spots combat-related things, like wounds/blood and weapons. Especially weapons, because he will be so fixated on it that he'll be distracted from going back to normal.

That is what he is most ashamed of, and while he doesn't mind a simple conversation, he doesn't allow others to become too close to him, for fear that he would harm them in some way. This describes his name well, which means "A scarred weapon with a dark past". Armatricus also hides a deep insecurity; he is really, really concerned of what others think of him, and often he replays the past few minutes in his brain, thinking about how he could've said something better. He assumes that everyone sees him as childish, and really wants to ask them about how they think of him, but he's always too cowardly to do so. Two things he lacks are courage (present in battle) and self-confidence. He's always degrading himself, saying that "he can't do this because he's too stupid for that" and blaming himself for mistakes that weren't his fault.

He does have his good personality traits though, such as loyalty and compassion. While his previous self wouldn't spare an injured animal even a bit of its attention, Armatricus would approach the animal and attempt to help it. Cruelty he'll step in to stop, while his former self would've laughed and joined in on the cruelty. His loyalty would be valued; he never betrays anyone unless their actions are against his conscience, which he is proud to say has developed over his time spent living without his guardians. He also has an inquisitive, restless nature, leading him to explore other places or carry out useless activities just to let his energy out. If he wishes to, he can also be serious, and can put his analytical nature to good use. He doesn't often do this, though, as it reminds him of his previous personality traits, which is something he's trying to forget. More personality traits of his mask will be revealed through RP.

I don't know why you had Armatricus' post in here??
This post have more sentences than my post, and it's accepted, now, my post:

she is a big cry baby, too emotive. Even living lonely, she wants friends, and she will try hard to keep them, Agatha is not the type of dragon that give up easily in this case, she is not shy, definitively the instead. One thing bad in this dragoness, is the fact that she is way too fearful, especially for the unknown creatures, that's because she is too perceptive. When she notice that you are a friendly, she will probably starts to make jokes, if you are rude to her, she will try to be patient, after all, she don't care about what the others think about her, she can be stubborn, hardly her opinion will change.

I already wrote 7 sentences, what are you requiring of me? My kidney? If this is a joke this is not funny!

Okay, first off. You have four sentences the first person you quoted had five sentences. You have all of the makings of one last sentence. I was giving advice you do not have to be so hostile. I was being supportive and kind. And you need your kidney. Wink

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Re: Agatha's application (needs approval)

Post by Sonus Decessus on Mon Jan 23, 2017 10:30 pm

OH! I think I know what the confusion is! :D

Do you think sentences are how many lines there are? Because yes, Luda has six lines and you have seven! Yes you do have more lines than her but a sentence is where the Period (.) separates the two sentences
:) Maybe that is your confusion?

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Re: Agatha's application (needs approval)

Post by Artemise on Wed Jan 25, 2017 7:25 pm

why Arma's app ;-;

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