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A New Dragon Enters the Haven

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A New Dragon Enters the Haven

Post by Sagramour on Fri Apr 14, 2017 3:36 am

Name: Sagramour
Gender: Male
Draconiforme: Western Dragon.
Species: Sagramour is a hybrid of a ShadowWing and a FireWing. He has the dark colored scales and inquisitiveness of his ShadowWing mother and the fire breath and determination of his FireWing father.
Age: 587
Sexuality: Heterosexual
Personality: Sagramour is a relatively mysterious character. He does not have many connections, and he tends to go out alone. He is angered easily, but he will try to resolve any conflict peacefully. Sometimes he longs for the the thrill and adrenaline of the hunt. He is a loner and tends to stay away from cities and large communities. Sometimes he wants people to be around, but he is too quiet to approach anyone usually. He enjoys creating artistic renditions of whatever he is feeling at the time of the creation. He rarely fully trusts anyone, but he is willing to share his feelings sometimes. He tries to rationally solve conflict when he can, but if he is angered enough he will fight. This allows him to overcome conflict without anyone getting hurt most of the time.
Hobbies: Drawing in his cave. Hunting. Exploring the world.
Likes: His privacy. Swimming and flying. Having time to himself.
Dislikes: Nosy dragons. Blood. Being with more than one or two people at once.
Fears: Sagramour fears being alone. He dreads never having anyone to care about him, and he also fears having other dragons know too much about him.

Place of Origin: Kaeshwi forest?
Tribe: Rogue.
Position: ?
Languages: Universal, Xøyan, and a little bit of Vuarish.
Home: Mountains of Shveki.
Parents: His mother is Achlys, and his father is Connlaodh. His father is a FireWing, but his mother is a ShadowWing.
Siblings: None.
Relatives: N/A
Mate: None, yet.
Offspring: None, yet.
History: He grew up in a sheltered home, and he had a relatively normal life. He left home once he came of age, but before this the dragons he knew best left. He felt alone in the world, but he kind of liked it. He longs for the same companionship that he once had, but he felt like he could never restore it. He lives in a cave far away from civilization, but he visits the dragon cities sometimes. He had learned to hunt at a young age, and he liked to hunt creatures smart enough to give him a challenge. He is poor, but he holds his own. He lives off of hunting prey and selling a portion of what he hunts.

Height: 57ft
Length: 178ft
Wingspan: 97ft per wing
Scales/Fur/Feathers: His body is scaled, but his wings are feathered. He has dark violet scales and feathers for the majority of his body, but there are small lines and patterns of red, orange, and blue through the dark violet.
Eyes: His eyes are a bright lighter shade of violet.
Accessories: He always wears a small sapphire pendant that his mother gave him. It serves the purpose of being a little reminder of home and family. It has a silver inlay depicting one dragon in flight above a dragon curled up in sleep.
Armour: He carries a mask in a small satchel around his neck. The mask casts an illusion over his body to make him look more fearsome and terrifying when needed. It alter's some aspects of his appearance such as changing his eyes to a deep blood red, making him look as if he's on fire and shimmering, and causing the viewer's perception of him to flicker and shatter in and out of place.
Horns/Spikes: He has two large slightly curled upwards horns on the top-back of his head. They are a darker shade of violet than his body scales.
Appearance: He is a bit more on the bulky side and his wings have spines on the bones in the membrane. His tail is slightly longer than his neck. His tail is almost sharp and whip-like.

Abilities:
Echolocation: He can use echolocation to see in the darkness the range extends up to 100 yards in enclosed spaces, and 50 yards in open areas.

Flamethrower: He can breathe fire that can be more like a superheated flamethrower. His flamethrower can reach up to a whole 70ft. His flamethrower is 1,200 degrees C for about 15 of the 75 feet it reaches. After 15ft it lowers to 1,000 degrees C, and after 35ft it is 750 degrees C, and after 45ft it is only 500. It finally reaches only 100 degrees C at 60ft. His flamethrower can be kept up for up to ten seconds and has a 20 second "reload time."

Night Camouflage: Because of his ShadowWing parentage he can become camouflaged almost to the point of invisibility in darkness. This is due to his scale coloration and ShadowWing scales can darken according to the darkness around them. This ability only works in shadows or darkness and does not affect any part of him that is outside of the said shadows or darkness. ShadowWing scales cannot brighten and his orange FireWing scales will not change.

Strengths: He's usually very calm and collected. He is also willing to make a show of force if necessary. He feels more powerful when he's angry, but in reality he is still at his normal strength.
Weaknesses: He will protect those that he cares about with almost unparalleled ferocity. This can result in overly reckless actions to save those he cares about even to the point of bringing him to his end. He does not trust people. He is more susceptible to magical damage. If he's angered enough he will seek revenge. This could be used to bait him into doing something rash. His untrained fighting style leads him to tire faster. His magic also affects him, so the sounds and light can disorient him as well albeit less so.
Fighting Style: Hides or runs until there's no chance of escape. He uses the darkness and cover to his advantage. If he's defending someone, he will fight wildly and unpredictably. He uses quick movements and small wounds over time to slowly kill, injure, or incapacitate opponents. He uses illusions and magic to distract and negatively affect opponents.
Magic:
Illusions: He can produce fairly powerful illusions. These illusions can be anything from replicating dragons physical forms like a 3D projector, altering his appearance, and causing others to see things that aren't really there. The illusion replications are a 1:1 size ratio with the actual dragon. He can keep only one replica illusion up at a time. He can create illusions such as a wall or door or other features that aren't actually there. Any dragons looking in the direction of the illusion will see it, but one experienced in illusions can recognize them as what they are. He can create many non replica illusions at once. He can make illusions to alter his appearance such as making it look as if his scales are different or his eyes are different colors. He can also create illusions on or over his body such as armor and other things. His illusions have not yet reached their full capacity, so he can only produce relatively small illusions, but large enough to produce a duplicate of any one draconiforme (Up to 200ft cubed for full body duplicates.). His smaller illusions like armor and altering the appearance of rooms can vary in size, but they rarely exceed 10ft. He can create illusions around 250ft away from him.

Light Disorientation: The bright lights look like a thrown magical projectile that detonates in midair producing only a bright light for 1-3 seconds. The light can be any color he chooses. The lights have no other effects besides being bright, and they don't even emit sound. The lights take only a few seconds to recharge. These lights are bright enough to make anyone that sees them have to readjust their eyes to the normal light conditions after the flash. This gives him a few seconds to run, hide, or basically do anything he needs to. They act like a super bright camera flash.

Sound Disorientation: He can produce loud, disorienting bangs from any point around him within 100ft. The sounds take about 20 seconds to recharge. The sounds are enough to cause the hearer to loose their sense of direction and cause ringing in the ears for a few seconds. The ringing lasts a few seconds longer hopefully leading to the annoyance of the affected.

Projectiles: These projectiles are like throwing knives except they disappear after a while. This causes bleeding and can be used to slowly weaken enemies. They usually appear overhead and this allows them to fire in almost any direction at high speeds (80ft per second). They can travel for a distance of 600ft before disappearing. They disappear 10 seconds after impact with an object. If they hit a target at the maximum distance of 600ft then they still last the 10 seconds.

Shield: He can conjure weak shields that hold up for 1.5 posts of a dragons breath attack, 2 posts of magical attacks, and 1 post of physical attacks. They take only five seconds to fully form. These shields can be surrounding bubbles, or they can be more like magical armor plates that float above the body area selected to protect. The shields take 3 posts before they can be used again.


Last edited by Sagramour on Sat Apr 22, 2017 9:51 pm; edited 13 times in total

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Re: A New Dragon Enters the Haven

Post by Sagramour on Sat Apr 15, 2017 3:09 am

Ready for approval.

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Re: A New Dragon Enters the Haven

Post by Artemise on Sat Apr 15, 2017 7:16 pm

Language: If you put a '?', I'll take that as he can't speak any dragon language Razz You might want to put Universal though, because it's like English in this forum, and if he was formerly part of a Tribe, I'd recommend putting in their language. If he was formerly Vuari, he can speak their language...um, I think it's Vuarish for the Vuari. That's just an example though. He could be from any other Tribe.

Abilities:

Echolocation - How far can this reach?

Fire- You need to elaborate. How hot is his fire? How far can it reach? Is there anything that affects his fire, e.g cold climates? If so, what is it? etc.

Becoming invisible in darkness - Do you mean he can blend into the shadows, or use the darkness around him to become completely invisible? If it's the former, I'll just take it as something like camouflaging, meaning that he can be forced out of the shadows and reveal himself. Unless you mean something else...?

Strengths:

"He tries to rationally solve conflict when he can, but if he is angered enough he will fight." - How is this a strength? It seems more like a personality trait to me.

Weaknesses: If you still count the above sentence that I stated as a strength, then you need to add one more weakness. If not, then you don't need to do anything.

"He will protect those that he cares about with almost unparalleled ferocity." - You need to explain how this is this a weakness. Will this result in reckless actions just to save those he cares about? Or maybe you could say that should those that he cares about ever be captured, he will be willing to give up anything to save them.

"If he's angered enough he will seek revenge." - Again, doesn't seem much of a weakness. It's more of a personality trait. Could you please replace this with another weakness, preferable a combat-related one?

Magic:

"He can produce fairly powerful illusions, and he use bright lights, loud sounds, and small, sharp, magical projectiles. He can conjure weak shields that hold up for 3 posts of a dragons breath attack, 2 posts of magical bombardment, and 1 post of physical attacks."

Define illusions; what can they do? What can he form? How often can he do this? And as for 'bright lights' and 'loud sounds', you need to explain; does he produce them, or can he draw them from other sources to use as his own? Or does he make an illusion of those? As for magical projectiles, you need to elaborate. How fast can they go? How big are they? What do they do? Does he produce them from his mouth, his hands? Or do they appear out of nowhere? How far can they travel? etc.

If a shield can hold up to 3 posts' worth of someone's breath attack, then it isn't weak. Reduce it to one post please, or one and a half at most. Also, what on earth is magical bombardment? Did you mean magical attacks? xD

=

Overall, you need to elaborate; put in more details. Bump when edited, and Skype me if you need help.

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Re: A New Dragon Enters the Haven

Post by Sagramour on Sun Apr 16, 2017 12:10 am

*Bumps the post towards the moderators/admins.*

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Re: A New Dragon Enters the Haven

Post by Artemise on Sun Apr 16, 2017 12:45 am

"He can breathe fire that can be more like a superheated flamethrower, or he can use a very short range blowtorch-like flame"

How far can these go? How hot is the flame? How long can he hold this up for?

"He can produce fairly powerful illusions. These illusions can be anything from replicating dragons physical forms like a 3D projector, altering his appearance, and causing others to see things that aren't really there"

This is quite vague. Throw in more details please. How many illusions can he make at once? Is there any way to not be affected by this? How large can the dragon he replicates be? How big an illusion can he make? etc.

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Re: A New Dragon Enters the Haven

Post by Sagramour on Sun Apr 16, 2017 2:18 am

Added in the specified details. I hope this is enough.

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Re: A New Dragon Enters the Haven

Post by Sagramour on Mon Apr 17, 2017 2:09 am

Specific temperatures for flames added.

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Re: A New Dragon Enters the Haven

Post by Artemise on Mon Apr 17, 2017 3:41 am

Still haven't explained bright lights or loud sounds.

How large of an illusion can he make?

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Re: A New Dragon Enters the Haven

Post by Sagramour on Mon Apr 17, 2017 4:00 am

I had forgotten about those. Their explanations are now added in. Added in exact sizes for illusions. I put 2000ft because I'm not sure about the size of the largest draconiforme available.

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Re: A New Dragon Enters the Haven

Post by Artemise on Mon Apr 17, 2017 9:50 pm

You need to read EVERYTHING in the Information section....especially this... http://dragonshaven.forumotion.com/t18-types-of-draconiformes

^ It is stated here that western dragons are usually 130 feet max; and after reading through everything, I found that western dragons are typically the largest.

So 2000ft... You know what I'm going to say.

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Re: A New Dragon Enters the Haven

Post by Sagramour on Mon Apr 17, 2017 10:57 pm

Changed to 200ft, to compensate for those larger than average dragons.

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Re: A New Dragon Enters the Haven

Post by Artemise on Tue Apr 18, 2017 6:23 am

"Those more experienced can create whole illusion armies and even change the look of massive areas of land"

Those more experienced? If this isn't referring to Sagramour, why is it even in his app?

I also recommend adding in more weaknesses (2-3 at least) to balance out your character. I know it isn't necessary but it'll make your character fairer in combat, seeing that he can create enormous illusions to replicate a dragon, or small ones to alter someone's appearance, use projectiles that travel at a very high speed, make bright lights which are actually bombs, can use echolocation to sense someone's presence in the dark, and produce hot fire that can go as far as 70ft.

Please bear with me for a while more ><

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Re: A New Dragon Enters the Haven

Post by Sagramour on Tue Apr 18, 2017 8:25 am

Added in two weaknesses and removed that one part. Thanks for the help. Sagra's become more of a character than he was before. :p

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Re: A New Dragon Enters the Haven

Post by Artemise on Wed Apr 19, 2017 4:22 am

That's good to hear. c: Do check with Oculus or Zolt about the speed of your projectile though. And I recommend taking away one or two of his magical abilities, seeing that he has quite a lot: bright lights, loud sounds, really fast projectiles, and illusions.

1/2 Approved~

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Re: A New Dragon Enters the Haven

Post by Oculus on Wed Apr 19, 2017 9:53 am

"Because of his ShadowWing parentage he can become camouflaged almost to the point of invisibility in darkness."
Explain

Abilities
It would be really helpful for you to list them out instead of keeping them all in one big paragraph.
For illusion creating, how far away can he create an illusion?
Magic projectiles are straight up denied. I won't accept something being thrown at mach 2.2 Speed needs to be lower by a lot
Flashbangs: How loud are these? How disorienting? How bright?
Shield: How long does it take to create?

You have a lot of abilities with only a couple of weaknesses to pair with them, too.


Bump when ready

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Re: A New Dragon Enters the Haven

Post by Xavierr on Wed Apr 19, 2017 4:29 pm

Sagramour. I would like to point out that most dragons reach sexual maturity around 24. After that, their aging is significantly slowed down. So a dragon ages about the same way a human does up until age 24. And then the maturity of the dragon can very. So a dragon with the age equivalent to a 47 year old human would very. It could easily be 47 as well, but you could also make it somewhere between 47-1500
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Re: A New Dragon Enters the Haven

Post by Sagramour on Thu Apr 20, 2017 5:43 am

I didn't realize just how fast 2,500ft/s was. That was way too fast. :p I've added in the changes specified above. It should be good now.

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Re: A New Dragon Enters the Haven

Post by Oculus on Thu Apr 20, 2017 11:10 am

For camoflauge, what do you mean almost invisible? Is there an ability, or just coloration of scales?

Projectiles: give a distance, not just after a while. If they last 5 seconds, then just 5x 80 = 400 fet for example.

Shield: what is stopping him from just creating a new shield as soon as one is broken to have a never ending shield per say?

Firewing/shadowing: these are OK, just remember this is not DRF so a firewing and shadowing would be species, tribes.

Age: Please convert to actual years old like Xavier (Xia) mentioned above. I can help with a sliding linear scale if needed.
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Re: A New Dragon Enters the Haven

Post by Sagramour on Thu Apr 20, 2017 8:35 pm

All above edits were added in hopefully as requested.

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Re: A New Dragon Enters the Haven

Post by Oculus on Thu Apr 20, 2017 9:44 pm

Laaaast thing! For the shield, since you used posts for damage, can you change the 20 seconds for recast to posts too? Just to keep it all on one system for you app ^^

Danke!
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Re: A New Dragon Enters the Haven

Post by Sagramour on Fri Apr 21, 2017 1:00 am

Changed to 1 post instead of 20 seconds.

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Re: A New Dragon Enters the Haven

Post by Oculus on Sat Apr 22, 2017 4:55 pm

THen you can spam the shield every post as its up for at least one post and then you rebuild it as soon as its damaged or broken. Its too quick.
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Re: A New Dragon Enters the Haven

Post by Sagramour on Sat Apr 22, 2017 9:52 pm

Changed to 3 posts instead of one. How'd I miss that?

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Re: A New Dragon Enters the Haven

Post by Oculus on Sat Apr 22, 2017 9:58 pm

~2/2 Approved~
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