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Sylver, the apothecary

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Sylver, the apothecary

Post by Guest on Mon Nov 14, 2016 10:29 pm

-- Deleted; with permission from Sly.

Arte


Last edited by Sylver on Mon Jan 09, 2017 6:32 pm; edited 6 times in total

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Re: Sylver, the apothecary

Post by Neru on Tue Nov 15, 2016 12:15 pm

Nymesis needs a few more weaknesses. As compared to everybody else, this could get really unfair pretty fast. I'd suggest adding a duration that Sly can summon him, as well as a longer cooldown.

Yor other ability needs toning down as well.

You need at least one more weakness than you have strength.

From abilities up, however, everything is good.
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Re: Sylver, the apothecary

Post by Guest on Tue Nov 15, 2016 1:24 pm

But Nymesis is like a double-edged sword for him. He does not have a huge advantage or jump in strengths compared to Sly, and damage sustained by either of them will hurt the other just as effectively. But whatever, I will just change it.

UPDATED

- Added duration and changed cooldown
- Added another weakness

I'm not sure what you wanted toned down for Sly's boa ability. He can only have up to 3 active at any time, and they have a charge-up time which others can capitalise to dodge.

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Re: Sylver, the apothecary

Post by Neru on Wed Nov 16, 2016 11:47 pm

The problem still is that it would be two against one, which can be very unfair, especially with less experienced RPers, which you find a lot of in sandbox sites such as this one.

After a second look over at the boa ability, and compared to what you have of Nymesis now, I'll say it's fair.

All in all though, it's good now, so 1/2 approvals given!
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Re: Sylver, the apothecary

Post by Oculus on Thu Nov 17, 2016 12:37 pm

How big are your boas? And if Nemesis is 'killed', what happens to sLy? Nemesis traveling at 90mph running speed is fast. Why can he go that fast on the ground?
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Re: Sylver, the apothecary

Post by Guest on Fri Nov 18, 2016 12:05 am

UPDATE

-Added sizes of the boas (7ft tall, 645ft long)
-Added more description on Nymesis' running speed when in the shadows.

Pretty sure it is implied that if Nymesis is killed, Sly is killed with him.

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Re: Sylver, the apothecary

Post by Oculus on Fri Nov 18, 2016 11:20 am

Ok. Summoning creatures that are that huge, on top of your Nemesis ability is way too much. Especially being able to summon three of those pythons as they are just too big and have more uses than just a beam of energy.
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Re: Sylver, the apothecary

Post by Guest on Fri Nov 18, 2016 9:54 pm

UPDATED

-Added limitation to the boa ability (intangible and cannot harm anyone unless they shoot)

Compared to the humongous dragon sizes of up to 80ft (Sly is 72ft), a boa of 5ft tall and 645ft in length is very similar to an average snake size relative to the perspective of humans.

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Re: Sylver, the apothecary

Post by Oculus on Fri Nov 18, 2016 9:55 pm

~2/2 Approved~
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Re: Sylver, the apothecary

Post by Oculus on Sun Jan 08, 2017 11:26 am

~Out for Edits~
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Re: Sylver, the apothecary

Post by Guest on Sun Jan 08, 2017 6:19 pm

Finished.

UPDATE~


  • Name change to Sylver
  • Appearance changed a little

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Re: Sylver, the apothecary

Post by Sonus Decessus on Mon Jan 09, 2017 6:21 pm

1/2 Approved for the edits made

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Re: Sylver, the apothecary

Post by Artemise on Tue Jan 10, 2017 2:18 am

Strengths:

Sylver wrote:Mental

Sylver excels when he is using his head to forge clever tactics and strategies to help give him the advantage in any sort of conflict. Calm as he ever was, he would only land claw strikes at vital points of the body, hoping to cripple the enemy enough until they are no longer able to fight. Sylver also tends to use the environment to his advantage and frequently studies his surroundings for anything suspicious. The sentence that I highlighted in bold should go into the fighting style section.

His childhood also granted him additional strengths related to his mentality. He is capable of quickly studying the blueprint of any sort of locations and immediately pick out the quickest routes in and out of certain places thanks to his high analytical skills. Sylver can also determine the line of sight from most dragons, after having to sneak around as a young hatchling to steal food, and therefore can slip past guards who are not alerted of anything suspicious. Needing to survive the cruel streets of Xoya has also given him increased awareness of his surroundings. Unless those following him are trained by the shadows, Sylver can easily detect anyone spying on him.

Physical

The only point worth noting about Sylver’s physical strengths is his speed. Sylver can react quickly and fast enough to dodge normal claw strikes, but speedy fighters can overcome this advantage. His physical strength is very subpar. A claw strike from him will at most bruise his enemy. However, his physical strength is covered by Nymesis to some extent.

So...

Strengths- excels at forging clever tactics and strategies, highly analytical, can determine line of sight from most dragons so that he can easily slip past most guards, increased awareness of surroundings, can detect anyone spying on him, speed, good reflexes, has Nymesis to cover his physical strength. 8 in total.

Weaknesses:

Sylver wrote:Gets exhausted easily

Having to use his brain constantly can quickly generate a mental strain on him. The more complicated his strategy is, or the more frequent he has to plot, the more energy it will take out of him. Because of his poor physical strength, Sylver is very reliant on the environment for opportunities to take his opponent by surprise. As such, a level playing field with nothing to use will be a huge disadvantage for him.

Squishy

Sylver’s defence is very non-existent. He has no protective abilities saved for being able to switch places with Nymesis, but both will still sustain equal damage to one another. Sylver did not have a bulky physique. Any attack on him will hurt slightly more than if an average dragon was hit. Therefore not taking any hits is imperative for him when he wants to win in fights.

Sub-par strength

As stated above, Sylver essentially exchanged his strength for a slight speed advantage. Therefore he would have the disadvantage if he were to get into a claw fight with a much larger or muscular foe. Nymesis could assist him in dealing with these sort of foes, but the increased vulnerability of Nymesis' presence just to add a dragon with average strength may not always be beneficial

Weaknesses- 5-ish. You know what you have to do.

Bump when edited. ^^


Last edited by Artemise on Fri Jan 13, 2017 10:26 pm; edited 2 times in total

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Re: Sylver, the apothecary

Post by Guest on Tue Jan 10, 2017 2:43 am

@Artemise wrote:Strengths:

Sylver wrote:Mental

Sylver excels when he is using his head to forge clever tactics and strategies to help give him the advantage in any sort of conflict. Calm as he ever was, he would only land claw strikes at vital points of the body, hoping to cripple the enemy enough until they are no longer able to fight. Sylver also tends to use the environment to his advantage and frequently studies his surroundings for anything suspicious.The sentence that I highlighted in bold should go into the fighting style section.

Not necessarily. This can go with either mental or physical strength if you think about it.

His childhood also granted him additional strengths related to his mentality. He is capable of quickly studying the blueprint of any sort of locations and immediately pick out the quickest routes in and out of certain places thanks to his high analytical skills. Sylver can also determine the line of sight from most dragons, after having to sneak around as a young hatchling to steal food, and therefore can slip past guards who are not alerted of anything suspicious. Needing to survive the cruel streets of Xoya has also given him increased awareness of his surroundings. Unless those following him are trained by the shadows, Sylver can easily detect anyone spying on him.

Physical

The only point worth noting about Sylver’s physical strengths is his speed. Sylver can react quickly and fast enough to dodge normal claw strikes, but speedy fighters can overcome this advantage. His physical strength is very subpar. A claw strike from him will at most bruise his enemy. However, his physical strength is covered by Nymesis to some extent.

So...

Strengths- excels at forging clever tactics and strategies, highly analytical, can determine line of sight from most dragons so that he can easily slip past most guards, increased awareness of surroundings, can detect anyone spying on him, speed, good reflexes, has Nymesis to cover his physical strength. 8 in total.

You added 'Highly analytical' here yourself, and I can simply argue that I put 'determining line of sight', 'increased awareness' and 'spy detection' to specifically explain WHY he has high analytical skills, since it encompasses everything. Or should I just leave it as ambiguous and vague as 'highly analytical' and that's it?

Nymesis is part of Sly's "Abilities", not "strengths" as per the app, so this shouldn't even be counted to be his strengths.


Weaknesses:

Sylver wrote:Gets exhausted easily

Having to use his brain constantly can quickly generate a mental strain on him. The more complicated his strategy is, or the more frequent he has to plot, the more energy it will take out of him. Because of his poor physical strength, Sylver is very reliant on the environment for opportunities to take his opponent by surprise. As such, a level playing field with nothing to use will be a huge disadvantage for him.

Squishy

Sylver’s defence is very non-existent. He has no protective abilities saved for being able to switch places with Nymesis, but both will still sustain equal damage to one another. Sylver did not have a bulky physique. Any attack on him will hurt slightly more than if an average dragon was hit. Therefore not taking any hits is imperative for him when he wants to win in fights.

Sub-par strength

As stated above, Sylver essentially exchanged his strength for a slight speed advantage. Therefore he would have the disadvantage if he were to get into a claw fight with a much larger or muscular foe. Nymesis could assist him in dealing with these sort of foes, but the increased vulnerability of Nymesis' presence just to add a dragon with average strength may not always be beneficial

Weaknesses- 5-ish. You know what you have to do. And no, I'm not counting your dragon's strengths and weaknesses by the words in bold like "squishy" and "sub-par strength" - I'm picking out the strengths and weaknesses you mentioned in your sentences.

How about listing what the weaknesses are like you did with strengths rather than pulling that number out of your a**? To me, I counted seven:


  • Prone to mental stress

  • Reliant on the environment

  • No defensive abilities

  • Damage done to either Sylver or Nymesis is shared at equal potency between them

  • Sylver has no bulky physique (therefore squishy)

  • Get into a claw-fight with Sylver and he loses

  • Sylver has increased vulnerability with Nymesis active because he has to take care of both bodies to not sustain any injuries


Anyway, bump when edited. ^^


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Re: Sylver, the apothecary

Post by Sonus Decessus on Tue Jan 10, 2017 4:12 pm

Sylver. This is constructive criticism. No such impolite manners should be appointed towards someone who is trying to help. Maybe Artemise miscounted, everyone makes mistakes. So please do not be so crude the next time someone is willing to try to help with your application.

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Re: Sylver, the apothecary

Post by Artemise on Wed Jan 11, 2017 3:17 am

Approved, and I apologise for the mistakes I made.

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