Dragons Haven
Would you like to react to this message? Create an account in a few clicks or log in to continue.
Log in

I forgot my password

Dragon’s Haven
Latest topics
» Rateevko- Lord of Sleep
by Oculus Tue Nov 22, 2022 12:03 pm

» Simple fish gathering (Open)
by Bellabear.INK Tue Nov 01, 2022 5:10 pm

» Deuce
by Oculus Thu Oct 06, 2022 3:56 pm

» Deuce
by Meteor Ace Mon Aug 29, 2022 2:46 pm

» Tharasis
by Tharasis Sun Aug 21, 2022 12:52 pm

» A Dinner for All (Open)
by Veokia Sun Aug 21, 2022 12:48 pm

» I guess this is an introduction
by Oculus Mon Aug 08, 2022 8:13 pm

» Isadore Frost
by Solarlight and Darksky Mon Aug 08, 2022 2:33 pm

» Asherna Ky'aelri
by Solarlight and Darksky Mon Aug 08, 2022 2:30 pm

» Pearl
by Solarlight and Darksky Mon Aug 08, 2022 2:27 pm

» The Faceless Librarian
by Solarlight and Darksky Mon Aug 08, 2022 2:24 pm

» Ilinui
by ChicoryWielder Fri Aug 05, 2022 6:40 pm

» Pearl Starweaver
by EmriTheUnstoppable Tue May 17, 2022 10:28 pm

» Veraasí Sâleesh
by EmriTheUnstoppable Tue May 17, 2022 10:27 pm

» Viddera, NightStalker NEEDS APPROVAL
by EmriTheUnstoppable Tue May 17, 2022 10:25 pm

Top posting users this month
No user


Stella

2 posters

Go down

Stella Empty Stella

Post by ShadowWing65 Wed Mar 31, 2021 8:34 am

Personality and the Basics

Name: Stella
Pronunciation: Pretty easy to pronounce
Gender: Female
Type: Western Dragon
Species: Shadow Dragon
Age: 20 years old
Date of Birth: October 22
Personality: Stella is pretty mistrustful, due to her parents abandoning her, and her life as a rogue, although she is very loyal to those that manage to earn her trust, and especially to her brother. Stella is very quiet, withdrawn, and shy, preferring to daydream in a secluded area than interact with other dragons. Life as a rogue has taught Stella to be very wary around others until they can earn her trust, it's a lesson that, unfortunately, she's had to learn by experience. Stella tends to be very affectionate and protective of those she considers friends, as she's afraid to be abandoned again, like she was by her parents. Stella is very creative and imaginative, often applying those two attributes to solving problems, and settling disputes or fights.
Hobbies: Exploring, Flying, Daydreaming, Hanging out with Ash.
Likes: To hunt, daydreaming, quiet places, to explore, learning new things, trying new things. 
Dislikes: Hypocrites, loud, obnoxious people, liars, thieves, bullies, traitors.
Fears: Losing the people she cares about, being betrayed, dying.
Quote: 'Having somewhere to go is home. Having someone to love is family. And having both is a blessing.'

Origin, Culture, and Family

Place of Origin: Unknown
Tribe: Rogue
Position: None
Language: Dragon.
Home: None
Parents: Father - Unknown, Mother - Unknown
Siblings: Ash (Twin brother)
Relatives: None that they know of
Mate: None yet.
Offspring: None
History: Eclipse and Ash were hatched out of the same egg, making them twins. Due to the rarity of twins, or maybe because of it, they were born with abnormal markings. Instead of being pure black, like all Shadow Dragons, Eclipse was covered with pure white pinpricks and flecks that look like stars, which gave her her name. She was abandoned along with her brother when they were hatchlings. She is very curious, which often gets her into trouble, and loves moving from place to place but is lonely since this means she never has time to make friends. She is very withdrawn and quiet around other dragons, and although she'd love to try and talk to others, she's scared they'll make fun of her for being a 'freak'. She and Ash are inseparable.

Physical Appearance and Accessories

Height: 60 ft.
Length: 120 ft.
Wingspan: 200 ft.
Scale/Fur/Feathers: Black scales with white flecks and pinpricks
Eyes: Vivid green
Accessories: None
Horns/Spikes: Razor sharp, extremely venomous spines that can raise or lower, and rattle (Making a noise like a rattlesnake) as a warning. They run from the top of her head to the tip of her tail.
Overall Appearance: Long, curved neck, big eyes with catlike pupils, huge catlike wings, long flexible tail, Smooth, gleaming scales, a jagged scar that runs down her right fore-leg, causing her to limp slightly.

Abilities and Strengths

Abilities: Camouflage: She is able to change the color of her scales, like a chameleon, to either match her surroundings, or look like other dragons, which helps her stay unnoticed when in large groups of dragons. She can only color change.
Night vision; Can see in the dark.
Very fast and agile: Faster and more agile than most dragons, as a shadow dragons skeleton is very flexible, but not overly agile. Relatively fast, can run about 70 mph, and can fly about 100 mph, 120 when diving.
Strengths: very fast and agile, quick thinking, intelligent, diplomatic.
Weaknesses:
-Clumsy
-Withdrawn
-Her wings are her weak spot, the top is covered in tough scales, but the inner wing is very sensitive, and each wing has at least three arteries running through it. If they are slashed, she can easily bleed to death.
-Dependent on Ash
-Doesn't treat or tell people about her injuries.
-Is not immune to her own venom.

Fighting Style: Uses her speed (Specified in abilities), agility, and spines to her advantage. Will dart around, cutting, slashing and whipping at her opponent with her venomous spines.
Her spines (And Ash's) Contain a deadly neurotoxin. A normal dose causes blindness, paralysis, and/or  breathing problems that could potentially lead to suffocation within a few days, and they die within the week. Small doses cause partial blindness, paralysis, and/or breathing problems, but will not cause death. There is a cure, but it requires rare herbs.
Magic: None


Last edited by ShadowWing65 on Tue Apr 27, 2021 5:12 pm; edited 4 times in total

ShadowWing65

Status :
Online
Offline

Posts : 12
Join date : 2021-03-30
Age : 19

Back to top Go down

Stella Empty Re: Stella

Post by Oculus Thu Apr 01, 2021 2:02 pm

Personality and the Basics

Name: Stella
Pronunciation: Pretty easy to pronounce
Gender: Female
Type: Western Dragon
Species: Shadow Dragon
Age: 20 years old
Date of Birth: October 22
Personality: Mistrustful, Loyal, Quiet, Wary, Affectionate/Protective (of people he cares about), QUiet, Withdrawn, Shy, Creative, Imaginative. This needs to be 5 full sentences describing your character's personality, not just bullet points
Hobbies: Exploring, Flying, Daydreaming, Hanging out with Ash.
Likes: To hunt, daydreaming, quiet places, to explore, learning new things, trying new things. 
Dislikes: Hypocrites, loud, obnoxious people, liars, thieves, bullies, traitors.
Fears: Losing the people she cares about, being betrayed, dying.
Quote: 'Having somewhere to go is home. Having someone to love is family. And having both is a blessing.'

Origin, Culture, and Family

Place of Origin: Unknown
Tribe: Rogue
Position: None
Language: Dragon.
Home: None
Parents: Father - Unknown, Mother - Unknown
Siblings: Ash (Twin brother)
Relatives: None that they know of
Mate: None yet.
Offspring: None
History: Eclipse and Ash were hatched out of the same egg, making them twins. Due to the rarity of twins, or maybe because of it, they were born with abnormal markings. Instead of being pure black, like all Shadow Dragons, Eclipse was covered with pure white pinpricks and flecks that look like stars, which gave her her name. She was abandoned along with her brother when they were hatchlings. She is very curious, which often gets her into trouble, and loves moving from place to place but is lonely since this means she never has time to make friends. She is very withdrawn and quiet around other dragons, and although she'd love to try and talk to others, she's scared they'll make fun of her for being a 'freak'. She and Ash are inseparable.

Physical Appearance and Accessories

Height: 60 ft.
Length: 120 ft.
Wingspan: 200 ft.
Scale/Fur/Feathers: Black scales with white flecks and pinpricks
Eyes: Vivid green
Accessories: None
Horns/Spikes: Razor sharp, extremely venomous spines that can raise or lower, and rattle (Making a noise like a rattlesnake) as a warning. They run from the top of her head to the tip of her tail.
Overall Appearance: Long, curved neck, big eyes with catlike pupils, huge catlike wings, long flexible tail, Smooth, gleaming scales, a jagged scar that runs down her right fore-leg, causing her to limp slightly.

Abilities and Strengths

Abilities: Able to camouflage, Night vision, very fast and agile. Please describe your camoflauge ability, as well as how fast and agile
Strengths: very fast and agile, quick thinking, intelligent, diplomatic.
Weaknesses: Sometimes isn't very aware of her surroundings, scared to talk to strangers to the point where if she needs something or notices something urgent, she still won't speak to them. You need to have a total of weaknesses that is greater than the number of strengths
Fighting Style: Uses her speed, agility, and spines to her advantage. Will dart around, cutting, slashing and whipping at her opponent with her venomous spines.  You need to describe her speed, as well as her venom
Magic: None

Bump when you have made the necessary edits! (respond to this post saying "bump")
Oculus
Oculus

Status :
Online
Offline

Posts : 753
Join date : 2016-09-06

Back to top Go down

Stella Empty Re: Stella

Post by ShadowWing65 Sun Apr 04, 2021 8:30 pm

Bump!

ShadowWing65

Status :
Online
Offline

Posts : 12
Join date : 2021-03-30
Age : 19

Back to top Go down

Stella Empty Re: Stella

Post by ShadowWing65 Sun Apr 11, 2021 8:14 pm

Bump!

ShadowWing65

Status :
Online
Offline

Posts : 12
Join date : 2021-03-30
Age : 19

Back to top Go down

Stella Empty Re: Stella

Post by Oculus Mon Apr 12, 2021 1:09 pm

For camoflauge, it is just color change, no size changing?

Strengths/Weaknesses: You have 4 strengths,and basically two weaknesses: Unaware and shy. You need to have at least 5 weaknesses for the 4 strengths.

Speed: This is basically the max speed a character can be, meaning they have to be weaker in other areas. A problem that I am seeing is you have a super neurotoxin that kills in 30 minutes, and no real balancing weaknesses to two powerful abilities.

Since this is basically the same as Ash, same comments apply.
Oculus
Oculus

Status :
Online
Offline

Posts : 753
Join date : 2016-09-06

Back to top Go down

Stella Empty Re: Stella

Post by ShadowWing65 Thu Apr 22, 2021 8:33 pm

Bump!

ShadowWing65

Status :
Online
Offline

Posts : 12
Join date : 2021-03-30
Age : 19

Back to top Go down

Stella Empty Re: Stella

Post by Oculus Tue Apr 27, 2021 2:03 am

Strengths/Weaknesses
"Stella is very wary of strangers, and will act aloof, curt, and cold to them at first, and will only speak if she has too, and won’t trust them at all."
Isn't this contradictory of diplomatic, one of the listed strengths?

Overall, your weaknesses are just being repeated, with the three that I can see being clumsy, unaware, and reliant on Ash, which is a small weakness in itself. You have 4 strengths and only really 3 weaknesses, with just a lot of personality in the weakness section. I'd try and think of weaknesses that your character has. It may be helpful to bullet point them or list them in some fashion instead of just writing a paragraph. Up to you, but you'll need 5 weaknesses for 4 strengths.

Poison: Is her poison curable? Or is she the only one who can? If she stabs someone with a normal dose and decides not to help them, are they dead without any sort of counter? Poisons are tricky for approval to balance, and adding on that you want your character to be super fast requires a lot of balancing.

Sorry for the delay in grading, I should be much faster at responding now!
Oculus
Oculus

Status :
Online
Offline

Posts : 753
Join date : 2016-09-06

Back to top Go down

Stella Empty Re: Stella

Post by ShadowWing65 Tue Apr 27, 2021 5:12 pm

Bump!

ShadowWing65

Status :
Online
Offline

Posts : 12
Join date : 2021-03-30
Age : 19

Back to top Go down

Stella Empty Re: Stella

Post by Oculus Thu Apr 29, 2021 1:13 pm

Weaknesses:
-Clumsy
-Withdrawn How is this a weakness and not a personality trait?
-Her wings are her weak spot, the top is covered in tough scales, but the inner wing is very sensitive, and each wing has at least three arteries running through it. If they are slashed, she can easily bleed to death.
-Dependent on Ash How is this a weakness and not a personality trait?
-Doesn't treat or tell people about her injuries. How is this a weakness and not a personality trait?
-Is not immune to her own venom. How is this a weakness and not part of the ability description?

You need to heavily balance your characters. Having superfast agile characters with one-shot kill venom is never going to be approved. You need to heavily balance your characters, adding hard-hitting weaknesses and/or nerfing your abilities. Bump when updated
Oculus
Oculus

Status :
Online
Offline

Posts : 753
Join date : 2016-09-06

Back to top Go down

Stella Empty Re: Stella

Post by Sponsored content


Sponsored content


Back to top Go down

Back to top


 
Permissions in this forum:
You cannot reply to topics in this forum