Veokia, the Umbran Flame

Name: Veokia
Pronunciation:Ve-Oh-Kee-Yuh
Gender: Female
Type: Western
Species:Furred western dragon
Age: 5 years
Date of Birth: April, 12
Personality: Veokia is nice to pretty much everyone, even prey that she kills to eat, giving it a little remorse and thanks for providing her food. When it comes to normal life, she is rather childish in nature, seeing as she is a hatchling, she tends to be overly kind to people, even if they hurt her in some way and prefers that nobody killed each other and had tea or pudding with one another, but she isn't completely childish, however, since she had to train her mind to deal with the stress of surviving on her own at such a young age, so she can go from kind, loving and adorable, to full on predator if she needed to do so. And in very very rare settings would she ever want someone dead enough to use her own Umbran Flames.
Hobbies: Drawing, painting, swimming, etc.
Likes: Reading, other kids, fruities, etc.
Dislikes: Teh veggies, writing, teasing, medicine, etc
Fears: Scary dergs, obviously the fear of death, the dark, etc.





Place of Origin: One of the forests of Nuira
Tribe: Stormcaller
Position: Princess by right of family
Language: Universal, basic Stormcaller
Home: A smol house made of ferns and sticks.(Previous home)
Parents: Darksky and Solarlight(Adoptive).
Siblings: n/a
Relatives: Yian and Glasoc(Adoptive).
Mate: N/A
Offspring: N/A
History:





Height: 8 feet
Length: 12 feet
Wingspan: 5 feet
Scale/Fur/Feathers: Furred
Eyes: blind in one eye, but the other is teal.
Accessories: A crimson red scarf that she holds very dearly to her heart. And a small smooth stone in a bracelet made of silver on her right wrist.
Armor:N/a
Horns/Spikes: Small slightly curved and elegant horns
Overall Appearance:





Abilities:
Abilities:
Fur Cloaking: Her fur capable of bending light around itself temporarily, though it's exhausting to her, lasting 1-2 posts. (Depending on whether or not she chooses to remove it herself. Veokia must wait a time [3 posts] to be able to cloak herself again.) Her fur is however easy to pick out in brightly lit locations, or to those with trained eyes. Veokia's camouflage isn't evolved for combat, and is simply for hunting her prey, but allows her to throw off predatory creatures or dragons during a chase. The downside to said ability, is that movement creates a shimmer that can be easy to catch if a dragon were specifically focused on finding her.

Vitals Vision: Her eyes are capable of dilating into a different film, allowing her to see someone's vitals. (she can use this sight as long as she needs to.)

Strengths:
Agile: Veokia, though being small, makes up for her youthful size being more agile, whilst having gained the strength to do so out in the wilds.
Strong-Willed: Having been alone would have broken most hatchlings, or worse, she has learned to push through thick and thin when time had called.
Weaknesses:
Hatchling: Due to being a youngling, Veokia can seriously be harmed with a simple swipe and easily pinned.


Manipulated: Veokia is easily persuaded into the simplest things, such as promise of reward and safety, spells that numb the mind also work on her.

Fighting Style: Due to being a youngling, Veokia relies heavily on her unique flame breath, with the capacity to coat her claws in such heat to give her enemies second thought.

Magic:

Umbra-pyrokinesis: A powerful flame of a darker hue and nature, causing more damage than a flame should. Materials become withered and warped, and potentially consumed to ash by the destructive breath. While it can potentially burn out quickly as it frequently isolates from potential fuel sources due to its nature, it alone has few  ways of being snuffed out.

Water quickly evaporates in its presence, which can eventually stem the flame with enough time and pressure, and depriving it of oxygen seems hard in its own right. This type of power can easily injure or incapacitate its own user, and completely destroy environments, which is an ever-present danger. While this ability is nowhere near as strong as the anime equivalent of this ability, it can, and will cause irreversible damage if not put out quick enough, like a normal fire would.

The maximum temperature Umbra-pyrokinesis can rise to is 2,200 F (1,200 C)

Oof, I don't do things in lists too much

Abilities: Her fur can temporarily camouflage itself, she also has special eyes that can allow her to basically see someone's vitals and thinga like that.

How long can it camouflage? What if it's super sunny will they see her shadow? You need to expand on this.
"Special Eyes". How long can she see some's vitals? Heart rate? What exactly can she see? Can she see all animal's "health bars" or only dragons? Please expand on that.

Strengths: She doesn't have too much mental strength, but living on her own, she taught herself to push through some hard things for survival. And being a child, she isn't very strong, so her physical strength isn't really on par with others, but she can be decently fast, which can certainly give her an edge should she run into a situation.(Pun intended)

How fast can she run? Do you really only want one strength? If there are more you have to add them.

Weaknesses: She's a child, so many things come to mind, but to name a few... She's deathly allergic to sunflowers, and she can be manipulated rather easily, just to name a couple.

What will the sunflowers do to her?
Why can she be manipulated easily?
Expand on both please.
And you need to name the "couple".

Magic: Umbra-pyrokinesis, she can create, shape and manipulate the fire of a darker, detrimental nature; that which damages, destroys, and consumes anything/everything they come across, representing the hazardous destructive side of fire, which in turn ignores most of the limitations and weaknesses of the normal fire. In essence, this is about solely controlling the negative powers of fire. Umbra-pyrokinesis is volatile/destructive, causing harm to oneself/environment by accident is ever-present danger

How far can she do it? For how long? What's the temp?

Please PLEASE expand on nearly all of your Abilities and Strengths section!

I have already explained that she wasn't done to begin with and that I was putting her out for the small things first. I made her when I was tired, and in doing so was a bit sloppy. Savan already covered this with me and I explained this same thing.

Then Savan needs to comment so I don't. Why is it in app grading requests if you're not done?

To at the very least give a description of her and what she can do while I refine her.

What is the status on this?

STRENGTHS

Alright, your strengths and Weaknesses check ouuutt...

So, just to clarify, it's good, but to me it's a bit confusing how you worded it ;u;. she's stronger mentally and physically than most other hatchlings? Or is she more swift and mentally weak?

MAGIC

Your magical fire is good here as well, but I just want some clarification.

Can Umbran Flames be doused *eventually* with water? I understand it doesn't have that weakness, or could it be doused/deprived by a perhaps more... uh... magically inclined capable liquid/sustenance? I assume it will die just like normal fire if it is deprived of any flammable source?

The magical flames cannot be put out through normal means, so that magical solution is for that, and as for her breath, it would take a lot of water to put that out, seeing how it's the definition of destruction.

Approved [1/2]

Date of Birth: That's not a date. Give a month and day

Hobbies: Being smol is not a hobby silly

Abilities: Is she visible when camouflaged? Outlined? If she moves can people see a flicker of movement?

Magic: How can the fire be put out? What's the range of control? How much can be created?


Bump when edited/explained

Hath been bump

Heyo, terribly sorry about the long wait for these revisions. So what is below are recommended changes to help balance out Veokia as a small hatchling. Unfortunately, she is still down one weakness, as an allergic reaction to a singular plant is a rare case, and the chances of encountering one is extremely low (I did try to find a unique weakness to replace it with but I don't know her as well as I should).

I might have missed a point or two with what you had typed originally, so please feel free to let me know.


---------------------------

Abilities:
Fur Cloaking: Her fur capable of bending light around itself temporarily, though it's exhausting to her, lasting 1-2 posts. (Depending on whether or not she chooses to remove it herself. Veokia must wait a time [3 posts] to be able to cloak herself again.) Her fur is however easy to pick out in brightly lit locations, or to those with trained eyes. Veokia's camouflage isn't evolved for combat, and is simply for hunting her prey, but allows her to throw off predatory creatures or dragons during a chase.

Vitals Vision: Her eyes are capable of dilating into a different film, allowing her to see someone's vitals. (she can use this sight as long as she needs to.)

Strengths:
Agile: Veokia, though being small, makes up for her youthful size being more agile, whilst having gained the strength to do so out in the wilds.
Strong-Willed: Having been alone would have broken most hatchlings, or worse, she has learned to push through thick and thin when time had called.
Weaknesses:
Hatchling: Due to being a youngling, Veokia can seriously be harmed with a simple swipe and easily pinned.

Deathly allergic to sunflowers --- This isn't officially a weakness, as the likelihood is extremely low.

Manipulated: Veokia is easily persuaded into the simplest things, such as promise of reward and safety, spells that numb the mind also work on her.

Fighting Style: Due to being a youngling, Veokia relies heavily on her unique flame breath, with the capacity to coat her claws in such heat to give her enemies second thought.

Magic:

Umbra-pyrokinesis: A powerful flame of a darker hue and nature, causing more damage than a flame should. Materials become withered and warped, and potentially consumed to ash by the destructive breath. While it can potentially burn out quickly as it frequently isolates from potential fuel sources itself due to its nature, it alone has few  ways of being snuffed out.

Water quickly evaporates in its presence, which can eventually stem the flame with enough time and pressure, and depriving it of oxygen seems hard in its own right. This type of power can easily injure or incapacitate its own user, and completely destroy environments, which is an ever-present danger.

The maximum temperature Umbra-pyrokinesis can rise to is 2,200 F (1,200 C)

I've edited your Character sheet with the above mentioned information, including a possible fix to a deprecated Weakness.

Take your time to look at them and feel free to ask anything.

Well I dun did an edit finally lmao, feel free to check